Don't get me wrong, I am the easiest person in the world to please. But it would give me a great deal of happiness if this coming Holiday Season (and my Birthday--December 21), you kind hearted-souls pick one of the items listed below as a present. I know, I know--it's a bit of a tacky thing to do--but hey, it beats wondering if I'd like whatever it is you took pains to wrap. By the way, you need not have two presents for me...one would suffice. (*This shameless ad was brought to you by Kapal and Feeling.)
1. A Mini-Pajero or Isuzu Mu (reserved for the Mother)
2. Harry Potter Hardbound Edition (1st year to 5th year)
3. An I-Pod (again, reserved for the Mother or the Aunts)
4. The Kurt Cobain Journal (available at this Bookstore in Powerplant)
5. A complete compilation of The Doors' albums (downloaded and burned in a CD would be highly appreciated but I will adore you if you give me an Original copy or the vinyl record)
6. Videos of High Fidelity, Almost Famous, Last Tango in Paris, Dirty Dancing, My Sassy Girl, Xu-Xu the Sent-down Girl, Les Choristes
7. A little black dress
8. Thongs from Victoria's Secrets
9. Victoria's Secrets Secret Crush PERFUME
10. A new steering wheel for my Augie
11. A CD player for my Augie
12. New Mag-wheels for my Augie (is that how you spell it?!)
13. One whole box of Novellino red wine
14. F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Sex and The City, Wonderwoman, Superman (1-4) video copies
15. A Lifesize poster of Aragorn of Lord of the Rings and Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter
16. A DVD copy of the LOTR Trilogy
17. A new memory card for my N3650
18. A Digi Cam
19. Dozens of yellow roses
20. Charlie White by Revlon
21. Bags--funky, formal, or casual--take your pick
22. A new Badminton Racket (RSL would be nice)
23. Kikay Accessories
24. Skirts
25. One year supply of Instant Carbonara (I think it's from Lucky Me)
Saturday, November 13, 2004
CHARACTERS:
ME
-25 years old, logical good days but has had god-knows-how-many beers and gin-poms. in jammies and a sando blouse. has recently taken a liking to Emily the Strange. has decided to adapt the kid's brattiness and hairstyle.
JULIUS
-23 years old, bratty on good days but has had god-knows-how-many beers and gin-poms. in a red shirt and jeans. has decided he is the incarnate form of the issue-laden Yusaku Godai or Shinji Ikari. Currently trying out a trauma-trauma-trauma lifestyle.
AJ
- 20 years old, self-confessed wanna-be drama queen on good days and has had god-knows-how-many beers and ginpoms. in a red blouse and low-rider jeans. has decided to be the official PR person for Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie. love life is in a shattered- like slump.
GUEST
- hmmmmm. celebrity.
SETTING:
A house-warming party for a friend. Main Characters have played tong-its, drank, mingled with guests, drank, ate shredded crispy pata, drank, sang tunes by the Beatles, Eraserheads, Sugarfree, drank. It was already four o'clock in the morning. Me was already bounce-walking.
Me: I wanna go home.
AJ: What?
Me: I said I wanna go home.
AJ: Why?
Me: Because I miss my bed.
AJ: Antayin na naten mag-5:30 tas uwi na tayo.
Me: I wanna go home now. Kaya ko naman mag-drive e. Julius, susi ko.
AJ looks at Julius exasperatedly. He hands Me her car key. Me says her goodnights to everyone at the party. She heads for the gate. AJ and Julius follow.
Me: O, san kayo pupunta?
Julius: Ihahatid ka namen.
Me: Hindi naman kelangan e, I can drive.
AJ: Hello, ok ka lang?
Me: Oo naman. Pede na kayo maiwan dito. You guys can sleep over without me.
At this point, they reach Me's car. Julius leans on the Driver's door.
Julius: Hindi ka uuwi mag-isa.
Me: Huh? Says who?
Julius: Me. Ako. Sabi ko.
AJ: Me, you can't drive!
Me: Ano ba, I can. I am not drunk!!!
Me goes to the middle of the street where there is a line that bisects it. She raises her arms sidewards and proceeds to walk in a supposed-to-be-straight-line.
Me: See? I told you. I can drive. I am not drunk! Balik na kayo dun.
Julius: Hindi nga. Kung gusto mo umuwi, ihahatid ka namen. Hindi ka nga uuwi mag-isa.
AJ: Alam mo Me, lasing ka na e. Tama na yan. If you want to go home, let's all go home.
Me: Ano ba! Stop baby-sitting me! I can go home. (looks at Julius) Alis ka na dyan. Balik na nga kayo sa loob e!
A car stops by and the driver rolls down her window. Me comes up to her and sheepishly smiles.
GUEST: Is there a problem here?
Me: I can't get into my car.
AJ: Eh she can't drive nga, GUEST e! She's drunk and she wants to drive home!
GUEST: Me, give Julius the key.
Me: Hay nako! Ano ba! I can drive home. I don't see what the fuss is about.
GUEST: Me, look here. Give him the key so you guys can go home na.
(Me grudgingly hands the car key to Julius) See that's better! You guys take care. Text me when you get home.
GUEST drives away. Julius and AJ retrieve their stuff and return to the car. The three climb in and made for Ciudad Me.
Me: I don't see what is this for. I don't see why you guys have to drive me home pa. You could have stayed over!
AJ: Hello! Kaya kame nandun kase andun ka!
Me: Huh? Since when pa sa ken umikot ang sitwasyon? I just said I wanted to go home. What is so wrong with that? Why the fuss?
Julius: Hindi ka dapat mang-iwan sa ere.
Car traverses Katipunan avenue. Me keeps ranting in the front seat. AJ chooses to keep silent. Julius drives sullenly.
Me: And you! Ikaw pa Julius, you should know me. You know I can drive. I mean, this is my car! I've been in far worse situations at kaya ko naman umuwi. Tas pipilitin nyong ihatid ako. Ano ba yan. When I say I am not drunk, it means I AM NOT DRUNK! Ako pa ang gaganyanin nyo! I do think I am a better driver than you!
Car exits Tandang Sora, takes a right onto Commonwealth Avenue. Me repeats her whole rant for emphasis.
Me: Ikaw pa Julius, you should know me. You know I can drive. I mean, this is my car! I've been in far worse situations at kaya ko naman umuwi. Tas pipilitin nyong ihatid ako. Ano ba yan. When I say I am not drunk, it means I AM NOT DRUNK! Ako pa ang gaganyanin nyo! I do think I am a better driver than you! You guys don't even have to go home nga e! You could have stayed there. Ano ba yan. Look, I don't like this happening again. I appreciate it but please. You didn't have to drive me all the way here. Hindi nga ako lasing e. I am not drunk!
Julius:
(raises his voice and points his finger at Me) IKAW! TAMA NA HA. TUMIGIL KA NA. KANINA KA PA. TIGILAN MO NA YAN.
AJ:
(mutters) Julius, wag mo nang patulan.
Me: Did you just yell at me?! Huwag mo akong duduruin. Wala pang dumuduru sa ken. How dare you yell at me! As I said, I am not drunk! Hindi ako lasing. I just want to go home because I miss my bed. What's so wrong with that? Ano yun?
Car turns left to Ciudad Me. Julius parks the car in front of Me's house. All three characters alight. Julius heads for the compartment and gets his baggage.
Me: O san ka pupunta?
Julius: Sabay na kame ni AJ ngayon.
Me: NGAYON?
Julius: Oo ngayon.
AJ:
(silence)
Me: Ano ba, ihahatid ko na kayo.
AJ: Ok ka lang. Umakyat ka na. Pumasok ka na sa room mo. Sleep ka na.
AJ and Julius walk toward the Village Gate. Julius addresses the Guard. Me gets into the car, reverses it and drives to the Gate as well.
Julius: Manong, huwag nyo na palabasin yan. Nakainom na yan.
Guard: Wala kaming magagawa, sila ang may-ari ng bahay e.
Me honks her horn. Guard opens the gate. Me rolls down her window.
Me: Ano yan? Ihahatid ko na nga kayo palabas!
AJ: Me, we just want to go home...
Me drives off and heads to UP where she waited for the sunrise she could not see. AJ and Julius go to a radioshack where they wait for the sun to rise too. Me goes home at 10:30 in the morning after a park-and-sleep session at Shell Select Commonwealth. AJ heads South to Cavite. Julius and his huge baggage took a Bulacan-bound bus. Nobody took anybody home.
*****
I would like to say big thank you's to the bestest friends in the whole wide world:AJ and Julius. I was one babbling-psychotic-bitch last night but you guys had the patience to deal with me. i appreciate it, BIG TIME. If ever I get drunk, I wanna get drunk with you guys. But it stands: I was TIPSY last night but I was NOT drunk.
I love you both.
Charmed One Was Spellbound at 7:18 PM|Counter Spell |
DON'T TOUCH THE VIRGIN
Friday, October 08, 2004
I feel absurdly accomplished and unbelievably poor today. I was able to do two things that I have been putting off until I get
reasonable splurge money or a job. I paid off my overdue cellphone bill and bought new tyres for my good ol' Augie. Let me tell you,
putting off is an understatement. I was more like
ignoring the whole thing 'til kingdom come. I should have kept it that way (yeah,right!).
My cellphone has been on re-direct for about a month and half already. My bill ran upto eleven-fucking-thousand pesos (pardon my cussing but damn!) in two months. Now, how does one come up with an Accounts Payable such as mine? Simple: get your heart broken by some guy and then call
everyone up on your mobile phone
everytime you feel like crying! Ever spent two hours on your mobile phone while in the middle of a traffic jam, yapping about how you were used, abused, and confused? I have. Lots of times. Hence, an P11,000 phonebill from Simply Amazing.
Now my tyres are a different story. My Augie (a 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage GLXi) has not had a change of tyres since 2000. My tyres were dreadfully worn out, one of them actually rendered unusable when I was fortunate enough to run over an uncovered manhole. But of course, stupid as I am, I did not get a replacement. I simply used my spare tyre. Yeah, I am a neglectful parent--so sue me. Anyway, I paid for it dearly. Three weeks ago, I was on my way to Subic with a few friends when I had a flat tyre in the middle of nowhere at 3am! Imagine: no spare tyre, a useless jack (the tyre was so deflated, my semi-lowered vehicle became LOWERED big time and nothing can be squeezed in underneath it), no flashlight, and a gasoline station 5-6 blocks away. Upon vulcanizing, we were told the tyre wouldn't last until Manila. We had to get a brand new tyre just to make it home. I resolved to get my poor little baby new rubbershoes after that.
However, I am now down-troddenly-absolutely-undeniably-grudgingly-guiltily-POOR. Poor. Impoverished. Penniless. Me.
As I said, I was trying to
ignore everything until I could readily finance myself but fate would not let it be. Every night, I tortured myself by thinking of a Demand Letter specially delivered to me by Simply Amazing or my tyres shredding into rubberbands in the middle of the New Improved North Luzon Expressway. This morning, I decided I had enough of it all.
I stealthily took one of The Forbidden Passbooks from the family drawers. It belonged to me (don't get any ideas), my brother has his own, too. It actually contains a Savings Account that was opened the day we were born. Every month, the parents and grandparents deposit
allowances into the it.
Under no circumstances should the money in it be withdrawn, transferred, or worse
spent. My Forbidden Passbook was untouched for
almost 25 years. It lost its virginity today.
Of course, Stupid Little Me did not even venture to think someone would squeal. Ironically, the first person to call me up on my newly-reconnected cellphone line was my Mother. Apparently, the Bank Manager called her up to inform her of a withdrawal of Pxx,xxx.xx. By the time, I paid for my brand-spanking-new-tyres, I knew I was going to be dirt-poor for the rest of my jobless existence. I was right.
It was a lengthy discussion on The Rules, Money, Spending, Working, etc. Here's the deal: 1)My Forbidden Passbook will be kept in my Mother's Office from this day onward until I get married/leave the country. 2) No lacuacha money unless I earn it myself (which means I need to get my arse up and about). 3) The moment I start working, I will be paying back the money I withdrew. Now, #3 sucks bigtime.
Man, no wonder they say Virgins are Off-limits! Harhar.
Charmed One Was Spellbound at 1:30 AM|Counter Spell |
STREWN STARS DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
"Hi. Got ur # fr liza. Its bn a wyl. Cn u mit me at eastwud sbc 2mrw morning, arnd 10am? Sumthing I hav 2 tel u.--sean"
He was the one she really truly wanted to love for the rest of her life. The guy she just had to marry, have children with, and grow old with. She loved him with everything she had, in everyway she knew. Somehow, she knew he loved her too. But it just did not work out the way she wanted. They were both too young, too full of their own ambitions, and too busy with fixing every little personal issue that by the time half a year passed, they were too tired to deal with the relationship. He did not know what to do with himself nor how to handle "being together". She was ready for anything. He simply walked away from it and she did nothing to stop him. She did not even tell him just what he meant to her.
She read and re-read the whole message. "It's been a while" is an understatement. It's been years since she last saw him, three mobile numbers ago, two chapters of her life have passed since she last heard from him and he drops out of nowhere to say he wanted to meet her for coffee? This could not be happening. Not to her. Not at this time.
***
"Hi."
He got up from his chair and gave her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. His cappuccino was untouched. She simply refused to notice anything else.
"Hi yourself. What's up with you? Last time I saw you was three years ago!"
It was then that she got a good look at him. He looked better than the last time. He still had chinky eyes, a beautiful smile, clean-cut hair and broad shoulders. But there was an air of confidence about him that dismissed any doubts of change. Gone was the confused yet carefree boy she fell in love with. In his place was a man who knew what he wanted. It was in his eyes.
"I'm okay. You look good. Finally got your braces,huh? What are you doing now?"
The small talk was killing her. Why does his whole face have to light up whenever he smiled? Her stomach was doing cartwheels as she told him that she was in-between jobs but she was expecting work by the second week of this month. She asked him what kept him busy. He said he graduated college a year after they broke up. It was good to know that he took over the family business and that it was doing well.
***
"I'm getting married three weeks from now."
"Wow. Best wishes! Who's the lucky girl?"
"Her name is Christine. We've been together for two years."
"Great. Is this an invitation?"
"No. I just wanted to tell you that a week ago, I wished I was marrying you."
***
It happened a month after his wedding proposal. He congratulated himself for being ready this time. He had let numerous opportunities for happiness pass and he was not letting this one slide. Christine may not be the perfect girl but she was just right--in the right place, the right time, and she met the "right" him.
Traffic was usually bad in Katipunan so he took a detour into a university campus. Driving along, a memory hit him so strongly, it was like being punched in the gut and waking up in tremendous pain.
Stars were strewn all over the velvet sky, the music of a well-known ska band, the cool breeze of dawn approached. A young man put his arms around a young woman, hugged her tight and kissed her forehead...
So many memories yet it was always this one that haunted him the most. Realizations like these hit one with a blinding flash. He was ready for marriage. He had met the right girl. But why was he wishing that he could marry somebody else? Somebody from three years ago?
She was the one he really truly wanted to love for the rest of his life. The woman he just had to marry, have children with and grow old with. He just did not know it three years ago. He recounted how he did not really feel at a loss when he walked out on their relationship then. He even thought that he was better off without her. But he has never forgotten what they had--it was always his standard even if he would not admit it to himself. He always had something that was lesser or better but it was never the same. He never felt the same.
***
"I'm sorry..."
She looked better than the last time he saw her. Longer hair that reached her shoulders, a slimmer figure, a snobbish face complimented by seemingly involuntary arching eyebrows. She was never beautiful but this morning, she was perfect. She did not laugh as much. He always loved her laughter. He noticed there was a certain weariness in her eyes. Weariness that can only come from hurting. Something that he was guilty of doing to her three years ago. She did not have to say anything after that.
They smiled sadly at each other. She looked at her watch and made the usual motions for leaving. He took his first and last sip of a cooled cappuccino. She stood up and made for the door, he followed her out quietly. She returned his perfunctory kiss on the cheek with one of her own and walked away without a word. He did not even bother to tell her once more of what he felt. He could no longer explain what she meant to him.
"Hi. It wuz gud 2 c u agn. Tnx 4 letting me knw. Best wishes. Goodbye.--ella"
Charmed One Was Spellbound at 2:45 AM|Counter Spell |
AWAKENING
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
I woke up today and decided to do one thing: LET GO.
No man is worth any of my tears. I would have to be a dork for not knowing this after all the relationships I've had. No wonder God keeps giving me men who are all wrong for me--it's because I keep falling for the same traps. I'm like the slow kid in school, the one who takes the same exam over and over because he just cannot seem to hack it. I have been taking on the same relationships and I keep failing--because I simply skip item number 1--which is to love myself more.
I was brought up to believe that when you love someone, you put out everything you can, exhaust all efforts, and cry all your tears before giving up. I have done so much for most of my relationships from shallow stuff like picking up the boyfriend (even if it entailed waiting for two hours before he gets off from work) to begging for another chance (even if I did not do anything wrong to begin with). I have always believed that relationships could work, if one half of the couple wants it bad enough. Obviously, I grew up reading and watching Walt Disney versions of the Tales of Brothers Grimm. Reality, as I have learned, is not so kind.
I am letting go.
Charmed One Was Spellbound at 2:15 PM|Counter Spell |
And She Cast A Spell...To Destroy Love
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